Why adults date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from old ages. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, finances, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married women for dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affair. I think generally though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to switch the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your assets are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply developed apart, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.